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Entry #1

"Bitter umano ang mga nagsasabing walang forever. "

I don't even get the aspiration of having something and letting it last, as long as we know, with the acceptance that even us don't get to live forever.

Maybe my lack of experience in the art of love contributes to my negativity towards the idea, but hey, nothing really lasts forever.

We help people. We love people. But even though we exert much on them, we will always reach our limit. That moment of, "Hey, it's enough."

I get tired too. Sometimes I know I am being used, but I see it on the persepective of doing it for the greater good. I am a victim, but I say nay sometimes.

Choose the lesser evil. Which is it then: be used or say no and not be used but more will suffer? The lesser evil is to be used and abused rather than inflicting it to others.

But, sometimes we say its over and way over. I am no bottomless bucket. And at some point, we just have to say no. That it's time they do it without us, or they don't even do it at all.

Their choice. Their action. I am far from being fed up, but I want them to learn to stand and show restraint. Willingness will pave for a solution.

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Nilalamig ako. Malungkot. Hindi masaya.

Bigla akong napagod. Naitanong ko bigla sa sarili ko, "Paano na ako?"

Hindi ko maipagkakaila na masaya at magaan sa damdamin ang nakakatulong. Pero minsan, kahit libre ang bagay, naghahanap pa rin tayo ng sukli at diskwento. Nasasaktan din tayo, sa mga bagay na bukal nating ginawa ngunit tayo'y binabale wala.

Ayaw kong mapagod. Pero pwede kahit ngayon lang? Bukas. Babalik ang sigla. Maganda din na may preno na tayo, kung sakasakali'y nasasakal na natin sila sa ating ginagawa.

Ayaw kong masaktan, pero mas ayaw kong makasakit. Kung pagmamalasakit hindi maitawid, sana'y huwag manakit.

Ayaw kong bumigay. Pero pwede kahit ngayon lang? Tao din naman ako, may damdamin. Siguro, maiintindihan niyo din kung kayo'y nasa katayuan ko.

Hindi po ako superhero. Di ko kayang tugunan lahat ng inyong kagustuhan. Hindi ko kayang malaman at alamin lahat ng nasa puso't isipan niyo. Sana'y maunawaan niyo, karaniwang tao lang po ako.

To sing our life in songs with illustrious words composed. It could never mean more than a fantasy. But what keeps us going besides hope; a dream of someone perfect in understanding our imperfection. 

Could we pay for a one-time love affair, that lasts a lifetime? That forever's impossible and we're here under the whims of the hourglass, every granule of the sand is worth a speck of diamond.

To exchange warmth under worldly duress. A protection from the disastrous universe. A falling star bearing your ultimate wish. A love that is worth more than love.

Could we pay for a one-time love affair, that can bend but never break? That tests come and go, with no fatal blow. That heated arguments turn into affectionate conversations.
"To love and to hold. 'Til death do us part."

A promise we aspire today, but a dream nearing impossibility.